The Boundaries of Sex


We believe it's time to kickstart these hard conversations. Take a quick look at some stats among teens:

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We at Clarity Together are de-mystifying the dreaded sexual boundaries issue, working hand-in-hand with our youth program, Reality Check, to facilitate these conversations. Below is a brief glimpse of what we're up to in this realm. Try these tips yourself, share with a friend, or teach it to your loved ones. They're yours now.

1. Add sexual decision-making to your criteria for a partner and stick to it.

If a potential partner isn't on the same page, is there really a point to moving forward?

2. Take the initiative.

Be brave, be bold. You'll be better off for it and your partner will grow to respect you for it.

3. Talk about it early and often with your partner.

Make sex and boundaries a part of your conversation routine. Since raising the issue the first time might be hard, maybe set a romantic date to talk all things "love." The first time talking about it will be the hardest, but once you do, the sheepishness and awkwardness will fade.

4. Be creative about it.

Talk about it in a nonchalant manner while doing something fun together to take the pressure off. Trade funny handwritten notes about it, draw pictures, make jokes about it, make it into a game - anything to lighten the mood.

5. Keep it simple.

Ask non-threatening questions without sub-text, such as, "What if we talked about sex and where we stand more?" or "How do we maintain a happy relationship in this realm?"

6. Share your concerns with others.

Don't bottle up your concerns; getting others' perspectives, particularly from mentors, can be the key to your sexual health.